Alma is feeling frustrated this morning (nothing new but important to note). She said, "I'm on my pitty pot and that's just the way it is". I said, "you get to be on your pitty pot and that's okay. I spend a lot of time on mine." (I don't think that helped).
A few weeks ago, Alma and I made a poster to hang up in her room. We put butterflies and flowers all over it (her favorite things) and I made a list of the positives in her life. Things that counter all of the negative stuff she says about herself. It went like this;
Alma Martin....
Doesn't Mess up
Deserves to be loved and cared for
Is a great person
Does lot's of nice things for everyone
Belongs in our home with our family.
ect.... you get the picture.
Today she decided that she doesn't like it and tore it off of her wall. She said those things aren't true and that she just "can't do anything!" It's almost as if reading that just made her perception of her deficiencies even more pronounced. She just doesn't agree with the statements. I wonder how you build self-esteem up in someone at this stage who never had any....
THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. IT ALMOST SEEMS YOU ARE DAMMED IF YOU DO AND DAMMED IF YOU DON'T. IF SHE NEVER HAD MUCH SELF ESTEEM TO BEGIN WITH IT WOULD BE HARD FOR HER TO DEVELOP IT NOW, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT SEEMS THAT DURING HER MOMENTS OF LUCIDITY SHE SEEMS TO TAKE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AS BEING PATRONIZIOMNG AT BEST.
ReplyDeletePERHAPS YOU NEED TO BE MORE REFLECTIVE AND ROGERIAN WITH HER.
WHEN SHE SAYS I'M ON THE PITY POT JUST SAY,YES "YOU'RE ON THE PITY POT" AND SEE WHERE SHE GOES WITH IT.
ON ANOTHER NOTE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF MEDS SHE MIGHT BE ON BUT DO YOU THINK A VERY MILD ANTIDEPRESSANT MIGHT BE HELPFUL? I KNOW THEY USUALLY TAKE 10-14 DAYS BEFORE KICKING IN BUT IT MIGHT BE WORTH REVIEWING ALL HER MEDS AS THEY RELATES TO HER BEHAVIOR WITH HER DOCTOR.
JUST A THOUGHT.
YOU'RE IN MY HEART AND PRAYERS.
LOVE,
JO
Lise
ReplyDeleteYou're in my heart and prayers as well..You are practically walking on water. By the way,I found the article which I sent above on one of Jo's nurse subscriptions. Love to all...family and your friends..
Dad
Thanks both of you. I appreciate all of the kind encouragement and suggestions are so helpful. Yes, she is on an anti depressant as well as two memory medications. We routinely have her meds reviewed and they recently increased the dose of her Lexapro and it did make a difference for a bit. I had a theory about going off of the memory meds. I am curious about the affect at this point. Is it just keeping her in this weird state of awareness? She has been on them for ten years. I approached the dr about it and he wasn't supportive of stepping down. He makes a good point about our ability to care for her at home; something we would like to continue as long as possible. I'll keep you posted.
ReplyDeleteTHANKS FOR SHARING THIS. I FIGURED YOU WERE HAVING HER MEDS REEVALUATED BUT SOMETIMES IT IS HELPFUL TO MAKE SUBTLE CHANGES IN DOSES AND TIMES OF ADMINISTRATION. GUESS THE DOICTOR IS ON TOP OF THIS.
ReplyDeletePERHAPS THE ADULT DAY CARE FOR EVEN ONE OR 2 DAYS A WEEK WOULD BE A GOOD BREAK FOR YOU AND FOIR HER. ANYTHING IS WORTH A TRY AT THIS POINT AND I STAND IN AWE OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FOR BEING ABLE AND WILLING TO DO THIS.
YOU ARE LOVED,
JO