Day Care

Adult Care went pretty much as I expected. I was concerned that Alma would think it is a nursing home and she does. Honestly, it was pretty depressing there. We went in on Monday to fill out the paper work. The "administrative assistant" began assessing Alma by asking her several questions. One of those questions was "Who is the current president" and Alma beamed and said, "Obama!". I explained that Alma really loves Obama and she looked at Alma and said, "Well....you're the only one". Thus, the tone was set for admission to Adult Care of Roanoke Valley.

The place is pretty depressing to say the least. Basically, it is one large room with a small fenced yard off the side. It is brightly lit and there are several participants of all ages and levels of need. There are several CNAs (Certified Nursing Assistants) wandering around and Alma was getting plenty of attention. The bottom line is that I need a break and she really needs to be around some other people. Therefore, I am presenting it as a "volunteer" opportunity. I know that sounds bad if not downright deceitful. However, Alma is very physically able, loves to help and really enjoys being around elderly people. I believe I've shared her love of approaching elderly women in the grocery store and commenting on their hair while touching it. My hope is that they will encourage her as a more able mentor to some of the other participants. We'll see how that works out. In the meantime, I am going to try and finally get over to her house to work on getting it ready to put on the market.

Change of Plans

The Adult Care Center called this morning to let me know that they had everything Alma would need to bgin enrollment. I was going to wait until after we got back from some traveling to have her start but desperation took over and I asked if she could start tomorrow. I was told she could start whenever we like and I am going to take her for the first time in the morning. While I do have concerns about exposing Alma to two different new  environments this close together, I am quickly burning out. My hope is that I will be a more effective caretaker when she is home. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Where to begin....

It's been almost a week since I last posted something. Honestly, things are just much harder than I thought (I'm sure I sound like a broken record) and I'm exhausted. However, I enrolled Alma at the Adult Care Center this morning and she will attend 2-3 days/week beginning the middle of April. It is not exactly what I would want (I've heard I am super picky) for her, but they have a lot of activities and she will be engaged. I'm beginning to think she needs a break from me as much if not more than I need one from her.

The last couple of weeks have been about Alma's depression moving into an outward expression of anger. No matter how many times well intentioned friends and family remind me not to take it personally, I can't seem to help but feel responsible for her misery in some way. The fact that I am the reciever of much of her animosity doesn't help either. In her defense, it is me that she has to deal with all day long and it is Keith and I who removed her from her home. As a matter of fact, Keith and I have been with her through every loss of independence that she has experienced so it is only natural that we are associated with negativity surrounding these events. The thing is that the anger comes mostly when she is more lucid and aware of her surroundings. I do want to say that I am so very grateful for Alma's friend, Carole (pictured to the right) who came over on Friday with a photo album of the trip to Italy they took together. It was a wonderful diversion and lovely to hear her laughing with her long time friend.

Today she has been very confused. Just like before, she knows my name yet I am a stranger to her. However, she Keith came in today, she lit up, went directly to him, hugged him and told him "you are good". I'm sad that she is so confused. However, it warmed my heart to see her respond to her son that way.