Where to begin....

It's been almost a week since I last posted something. Honestly, things are just much harder than I thought (I'm sure I sound like a broken record) and I'm exhausted. However, I enrolled Alma at the Adult Care Center this morning and she will attend 2-3 days/week beginning the middle of April. It is not exactly what I would want (I've heard I am super picky) for her, but they have a lot of activities and she will be engaged. I'm beginning to think she needs a break from me as much if not more than I need one from her.

The last couple of weeks have been about Alma's depression moving into an outward expression of anger. No matter how many times well intentioned friends and family remind me not to take it personally, I can't seem to help but feel responsible for her misery in some way. The fact that I am the reciever of much of her animosity doesn't help either. In her defense, it is me that she has to deal with all day long and it is Keith and I who removed her from her home. As a matter of fact, Keith and I have been with her through every loss of independence that she has experienced so it is only natural that we are associated with negativity surrounding these events. The thing is that the anger comes mostly when she is more lucid and aware of her surroundings. I do want to say that I am so very grateful for Alma's friend, Carole (pictured to the right) who came over on Friday with a photo album of the trip to Italy they took together. It was a wonderful diversion and lovely to hear her laughing with her long time friend.

Today she has been very confused. Just like before, she knows my name yet I am a stranger to her. However, she Keith came in today, she lit up, went directly to him, hugged him and told him "you are good". I'm sad that she is so confused. However, it warmed my heart to see her respond to her son that way.