Settling In

Everything moved faster than expected and we moved Alma into Pheasant Ridge last Thursday. The truth is that I hadn’t had a full nights sleep in over a month and it was getting to the point that I was becoming pretty ineffective as a caregiver.  I mentioned that Alma was having a hard time finding her room even during the day. Nights were much worse in that we were all trying to sleep and she would wander around the house. Upon hearing her, I would get up and help her back to bed. However, once she is awake, she doesn’t stay in bed long and just as I would drift off again, I would hear her footsteps going back down the hall.

Keith questioned why I couldn’t simply let her wander. We had alarms on the door, left lights on all over the house, put child safety locks on everything and baby gates up in the kitchen. This was not just another way to micro manage Alma, I explained. The thing is that those methods of accident prevention are fallible and as long as I knew she was unsupervised, I was concerned not only for her safety, but everyone’s safety. I have learned the hard way over the last year and a half that no one can predict the behavior of someone who has limitations due to brain function. Alma is fairly compliant and unassuming. Most of the time, she is just pacing around. However, sometimes it seems that a switch gets flipped and she will exhibit some very strange and unsafe behaviors like walking out in traffic. Therefore, knowing she was up at night was keeping me up too. Finally and when he witnessed Alma hopping over the gate to the kitchen, Keith agreed.

Therefore, by the time we had completed all required paperwork, we were ready to go ahead and move her in quickly. I talked to staff on Tuesday and it was set that she would move in Thursday. As soon as I hung up the phone, I began to doubt the decision. The director of memory care referred to Alma as “high functioning” and I began to question whether or not we were jumping the gun.  The tears began flowing in a constant stream as the guilt settled in. Thankfully, I managed to cry it out before the move on Thursday. I knew the better my mood that day, the more at ease Alma would be. I was especially relieved when Kaiya told us she was available to help and wanted to be there as well. Kaiya is very calm and has a soothing effect on Alma so I knew that she would be a great support person that day.

Things could not have gone any better. We arrived at Pheasant Ridge at 9am and by noon, she was all checked in. By the time we left, she had eaten lunch and was hanging out in the common room with some new friends. I had forgotten a few things and when I went back that afternoon, she was laughing with some of the other ladies.  As happy as she was to see me, she didn’t seem at all distressed when I left. I have been out there several times over the last week. We’ve taken her on a couple of outings and she has not gotten upset once or asked to come home with me. Yesterday I took her out to say goodbye to the staff at Adult Care and to give them some holiday treats (she never had a chance to say goodbye and the staff had become attached) and when we were done, I told her I was taking her home. When we pulled up she said, “This is a nice place” and seemed pretty happy about going back inside.  

I have decided to keep this blog going for now. It’s a nice way for me to update everyone and finding things to say has never been a problem for me. I strongly encourage anyone interested to go and visit Alma. Keith is going to make some cards with her new address on it and we will send those out after the New Year.  I posted a link to Pheasant Ridge below and you can find the information about location and visitation there as well.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!