A Change in Scenery

Tomorrow, Alma will go into respite at an assisted living facility for one week. It is a beautiful place about a mile from our home. They work specifically with dementia. She is going because we are going out of town for a few days and taking her with us is just not an option; not to mention the fact that we all could use a break from one another. Last week, Alma toured the facility (she has no memory of that) and spent some time with staff and residents while Keith and I did the paperwork. She has heard us talking about our upcoming trip and I think it is making her nervous which is very understandable.

Life here continues to progress with little variation except now she is attending the adult care facility a couple of days a week. I think she is starting to get into a groove there. I have asked that the staff allow her to help with the less able participants and they are doing that. Yesterday, Alma was relieved when I came to pick her up (I got there early because it was a beautiful day) but said, "the old ladies are really sweet and they love me".  Maybe this is finally giving her the sense of self-worth that she has been needing for quite some time.

Alma's attitude continues to vary on a daily basis and that is probably one of my biggest challenges. We all want our in-laws to love and accept us. The thing is that when Alma first came to live with us, she was extrememly easy going and sweet. Nine months later, much of the anger and animosity I felt towards me when I first met Keith is coming out with a vengence. Most likely it's due to a feeling that she's dependent on me. That must be so hard to deal with. She already struggles with trust due to life circumstances and now she has to completly depend on Keith and I. That must be devastating to her. I'm hoping that some space from us will help her feel a little more balanced and in control. However, I realize that it's time for me to stop trying to fix everything for her all the time too. It's wearing me out and I think it's really getting on Alma's nerves.