Oopsy...

Something happened with the website so my last post was erased but I keep all of these posts so I re-posted.

Anyway, things have been better since our difficult incident on Monday. Today Alma went to Adult Care and seemed so happy to go. The staff loves her there and they have done a great job keeping her busy. When I went to pick her up this afternoon, the staff said Alma ate "plates of pizza" on the field trip to Ci Ci's Pizza. She relayed that she had a great time helping all of the "old ladies" with their pizza (I wonder if that means she helps them finish it like my dad used to do when I was little...). On the way home she asked me about my job in social work and told me that she believes that she should become a social worker to work with the elderly. I think that is really sweet. She is quite kind and nurturing to all of those ladies at Adult Care and the Nursing Home. I'm so glad she is finally feeling fulfilled.

"Don't touch my toothbrush!"

Except for one teeny, tiny incident on Monday, Alma's mood has continued to be pretty good. However, that incident ended up being pretty traumatic for all involved.

The whole thing happened over dental hygiene (of course), an ongoing source of contention these days. I’ll be honest and say that my patience is wearing thin as I approach the end of the school year and the end of my youngest daughter’s middle school career. We have been incredibly busy and I am feeling pulled in about ninety different directions. Therefore, as hard as it is for me to admit, I will say that I was being a bit snippy and short while “helping” Alma with this task. Nonetheless, I was shocked when Alma, who simply did not want to brush her teeth, grabbed my wrist (I was putting toothpaste on her toothbrush) with both hands, twisted and refused to let go. She then proceeded to try to pull me out of the bathroom. She was shaking with anger and her eyes were wide as she yelled at me, telling me to stop telling her what to do. I firmly and loudly told her to let go and she refused until she opened the bathroom door and Keith was standing there. She dropped my arm and pushed past Keith and went to her room where she continued her tantrum for another 20 minutes.

I am not as upset by her outburst as I am by my reaction. I was very angry with her. I did not take this anger out on her. As a matter of fact, I did not resist her when she grabbed my arm out of fear of hurting her. I knew I wasn’t in any danger and she would eventually let go. However, the entire incident shook me up and it took a long time for me to cool off. Even though I know Alma is not inherently a violent person, this is the third incident of violent behavior that I have seen. I am hoping that it will continue to only be directed at me (I’m the only one that challenges her-I have instructed my children not to) but I know it will eventually get worse. I think the thing that upset me the most was when Keith went in to check on her and she told him she felt sorry for him that he has to put up with me (I kind of wish Keith had kept that little nugget to himself). I realize that this is part of dementia and that I shouldn’t “take it personally” but it feels personal sometimes and nothing anyone can say will make that part of it easier.

On a more positive note, her mood passed as quickly as it came and she was back to her dancing, happy self yesterday and today. This morning, on our way into the Adult Care Center she even told me I was “such a sweet person”. I, on the other hand, needed some additional time and took a “sick day” yesterday.  After a day of reading in the sun (I recommend “The 36-Hour Day” listed to the right), I was also much better by today and harmony is temporarily restored.

"Leave my toothbrush alone!!!"

Except for one teeny, tiny incident on Monday, Alma's mood has continued to be pretty good. However, that incident ended up being pretty traumatic for all involved.

The whole thing happened over dental hygiene (of course), an ongoing source of contention these days. I’ll be honest and say that my patience is wearing thin as I approach the end of the school year and the end of my youngest daughter’s middle school career. We have been incredibly busy and I am feeling pulled in about ninety different directions. Therefore, as hard as it is for me to admit, I will say that I was being a bit snippy and short while “helping” Alma with this task. Nonetheless, I was shocked when Alma, who simply did not want to brush her teeth, grabbed my wrist (I was putting toothpaste on her toothbrush) with both hands, twisted and refused to let go. She then proceeded to try to pull me out of the bathroom. She was shaking with anger and her eyes were wide as she yelled at me, telling me to stop telling her what to do. I firmly and loudly told her to let go and she refused until she opened the bathroom door and Keith was standing there. She dropped my arm and pushed past Keith and went to her room where she continued her tantrum for another 20 minutes.

I am not as upset by her outburst as I am by my reaction. I was very angry with her. I did not take this anger out on her. As a matter of fact, I did not resist her when she grabbed my arm out of fear of hurting her. I knew I wasn’t in any danger and she would eventually let go. However, the entire incident shook me up and it took a long time for me to cool off. Even though I know Alma is not inherently a violent person, this is the third incident of violent behavior that I have seen. I am hoping that it will continue to only be directed at me (I’m the only one that challenges her-I have instructed my children not to) but I know it will eventually get worse. I think the thing that upset me the most was when Keith went in to check on her and she told him she felt sorry for him that he has to put up with me (I kind of wish Keith had kept that little nugget to himself). I realize that this is part of dementia and that I shouldn’t “take it personally” but it feels personal sometimes and nothing anyone can say will make that part of it easier.

On a more positive note, her mood passed as quickly as it came and she was back to her dancing, happy self yesterday and today. This morning, on our way into the Adult Care Center she even told me I was “such a sweet person”. I, on the other hand, needed some additional time and took a “sick day” yesterday.  After a day of reading in the sun (I recommend “The 36-Hour Day” listed to the right), I was also much better by today and harmony is temporarily restored.