Ouch, my poor ego

As much as I hate saying this, I have to admit that Keith's hands off approach may be slightly more effective (at least for the moment) than my overly attentive way of dealing with Alma. Yesterday was no different than recent days with lots of crying, packing to leave, standing by the door, and yelling at me, "I have dimentia!". However, as we went through the day without me trying to "fix" whatever was ailing her in that moment, she seemed to eventually slip into a more calm state of being.

I will admit that I modified Keith's approach a bit. While it is obvious to me that many of Alma's actions may be attention seeking, I can't help but feel that she does deserve and more importantly needs the attention on some level. Instead of trying to engage her in talking about what might be bothering her, (something that just might send her spirling further) and giving many open ended choices (my weak attempt to preserve autonomy), I simply redirected her in a way that was somewhat clear and she seemed to respond better.

This is what is turning into a daily routine:

Alma: (walking in the room with her purse, a blanket and overnight bag sighs loudly).
Me: What's wrong?
Alma: Oh nothing. I'm going now...
Me:Where?
Alma: Home
Me: This is your home.
Alma: I know but you don't want me here.
Me: Yes, we do want you here.
Alma: Okay I guess.....

And we repeat that conversation many many times throughout the day. I am finally getting that this may be somewhat "normal" behavior for someone with dimentia  (duh-I should know this). Therefore,  I notice that simply answering is much better than trying to problem solve about where all this is coming from. She still gets the attention without getting being triggered.